somewhat similar

kansas fence (off hwy 99) & glen fence (glencolmcille, donegal, ireland)

i was driving home from visiting my family for my mom's birthday a few weeks back. my camera was with me, as i'd had to take more autumn pictures. i feel like i'm always seeing great photos as i drive from kansas city to wichita, but i'm always in a hurry, or "i've already passed it now and i don't want to turn around" or something.

not the case in ireland, whilst visiting with marilyn last year. all i had to do was draw in my breath and she'd be willing to stop.



of course, there aren't such sights as these.
but sometimes the simplicity itself is breathtaking.
and so for once, i finally stopped. and took a few photos. of kansas.


somewhat similar, i think

alas

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them. [Bill Vaughan]

this amazing pine once stood at arno & stateline in kc, ks. i drove by it everday on my way to work for two years. i always got a bubble of expectation when i knew i was approaching "the arno tree". something about the placement of the branches made me feel suspended, not simply driving by the tree, but somehow circling around it. difficult to explain. impossible to capture in a photograph.

the other day i was driving down stateline, a few blocks before arno, my anticipation begins. as i reach the block, my jaw drops as my eyes take in the empty lawn. for several blocks past, i couldn't close my mouth. the arno tree was gone.

a similar thing happened with this amazing tree in kilkenny, ireland. which i photographed with a wimpy camera back in 2001, fully expecting to return for a real photo op. however, my visit in 2005 found an empty lawn, as well.

hopefully i can get back to this one in beverly hills with my real camera, before it's gone, too.

not quite sure what my fascination with trees is, but i love them. their trunks, roots, branches, leaves, blossoms.
stories seem to surround them, fill them.

The tree which moves some to tears of joy is in the eyes of others only a green thing that stands in the way. Some see nature all ridicule and deformity... and some scarce see nature at all. But to the eyes of the man of imagination, nature is imagination itself. [William Blake]

midwest-ward

the drive back to kansas city was a rather easy affair. the worst difficulty was driving poor little neo with his meager four cylinders up the mountain roads in colorado. lucky for him, basically all my belongings were in my dad's van, which seemed to handle the weight and the incline rather well. the views out the window were well worth snapping pics of and my mom was nice enough to drive through the prettier parts so i could more easily (& safely) soak in the views. accompanied by the new keane album (which i LOVE), i rather enjoyed myself.

thanks mom & dad!

july first (julio uno)

in case there's still some confusion out there. i will return to kansas city on 1 july 2006.

this year will certainly go down in my books as BIZARRE. difficult. and good. and it's only half over. whew.

looking forward to being home with all of you, very soon.

misunderstood

i laughed out loud when i saw this during an errand run for the film i'm working on. if you want to be the topic of conversation in los angeles - just let out the fact that you're moving back to kansas because you actually want to (and not because you're horribly disgruntled & depressed). pretty soon everyone on set has heard and is now completely confused by you. :)

working on a film is kind of like an extended finals week. little sleep, lots of stress, giddy laughter. i have not yet broken into the "beth laugh" (tears and all) - but i've come semi-close. and last night i actually put face lotion on my toothbrush instead of toothpaste. and i've often found myself singing little phrases repetitively while driving like, "please let my freeway exit be open" or "and now i'm on the street where i live and soon i will be home".

oh and we had four tarantulas on set yesterday. i didn't actually get to see them filmed, but i was within two feet of one crawling on someone's hand. very odd.

for any of you jw-ers - i'll be at the 11am service this sunday! :)

i heart kansas

even though things are now moving along as i would have wanted - i have realized within the past few days that this is in fact, not what i want. i'm glad that i came out here to cali, but i'm even more glad that i will be going home to kansas city. and yes, this is coming out of nowhere, kind of. i officially decided monday morning. it's not due to discouragement or anything like that - simply a change of heart. a bit humbling, but good.

when? i don't know exactly. yes - i will be visiting in may (had planned that before i had any idea about all this). but moving back will not be for a few months. december at the latest. what will i do? no clue. get a job, of course. but for once i have no idea what's next. and i think that will be a good challenge for me--that daily trust in God's leading.

whew. this whole thing has been quite an adventure. and i still have more to come.

i started reading roy hession's "the calvary road," which my friend kerry gave me a long time ago. it's amazing.

"dying to self is not a thing we do once for all. there may be an initial dying when God first shows these things, but ever after it will be a constant dying, for only so can the LORD Jesus be revealed constantly through us...the only life that pleases God and that can be victorious is His life - never our life, no matter how hard we try."